I cut my penus on the lid.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
