i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
