No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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