I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
