I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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