It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
