so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
