Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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