Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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