I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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