he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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