I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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