i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
