The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize