Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
