before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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