it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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