Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Every concussion has its silver lining
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
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Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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