Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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