let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
tell me about the fingering
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
