Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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