I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
