I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
