Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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