I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
