dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
