Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize