He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
