Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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