he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
