You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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