We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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