TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
