I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
