All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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