gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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