i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
