:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
