i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
