just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize