gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
