i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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