Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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