Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
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you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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