your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
