Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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