I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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