My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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