im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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