3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
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After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
