i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
