I think i peed on brittanys purse
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
