Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize