She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
