Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
tequila makes me forget i have legs
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
