so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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