it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
