Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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