Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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