He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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