Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
