69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
