My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
