My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize