So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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