if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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